May 2013
22 posts
6 tags
Friend Zone
Men (and I use that term loosely) I’m done with all this friend zoning bullshit. It’s not the girls fault that she doesn’t want to fuck you. You being there for her and comforting her in time of need is something a FRIEND would do. Grow a pair and move on or keep being a little bitch, your call. I’m out, peace.
May 24th
2 notes
7 tags
May 22nd
3 notes
3 tags
May 20th
4 tags
May 20th
1 note
3 tags
May 18th
156,241 notes
4 tags
May 18th
3 notes
3 tags
May 18th
4 tags
May 16th
3 notes
4 tags
May 16th
3 notes
3 tags
“Sometimes when I’m thirsty, I just get a drink of water!”
– Me
May 15th
1 note
4 tags
May 13th
10 tags
May 12th
4 notes
martective asked: let me love you because of your post about the 'new star trek' and your beautiful blog
May 12th
3 tags
May 11th
1 note
3 tags
This is going to be another angry JJ Abrams rant, so beware. I understand you want to make Star Trek “edgy” and “new age.” I dont like it, but I understand it. However, to take a villain that already had an AMAZING movie and rework him in your flashy, garish piece of bullshit public fodder is revolting. If you want to see an amazing movie with Khan watch the original, and...
May 11th
3 notes
May 9th
1 note
May 9th
May 9th
4 tags
Thought I’d play god by having six donuts and chocolate milk for breakfast advantage god
May 7th
Anonymous asked: Hi
May 4th
5 tags
May 3rd
3 notes
9 tags
Redskins Name
I dont know why the Redskins are still getting greif for their name. I wouldn’t give a shit if they were named the Washington ‘Money Grubbing Jews’ I would still go to games with a fake nose and hunched back, screaming GO FIGHTING JEWS!
May 3rd
1 note
April 2013
52 posts
paradoxical-architecture: So excited to have an article I wrote featured on flatironhotnews.com! Please check it out here and let me know what you think!
Apr 30th
6 notes
5 tags
Got my Game of Thrones diaper on, so when something happens I can safely shit myself without feeling ashamed
Apr 29th
1 note
6 tags
“Why is your neck so fast?”
– Samantha (she couldn’t slap me because I’d dodge all of them)
Apr 28th
2 notes
Apr 25th
2 notes
4 tags
Apr 25th
3 notes
5 tags
How I Cried My Way To The Top
Got my Draft bracelet to go to the NFL Draft, how did I get it you ask? I tried to get one of the workers to get a ‘Fast Pass’ so i don’t have to wait there another 4 hours. They got one for me and not for my girlfriend. What would a man do in this situation? I proceeded to cry and explain how my girlfriend was so small and can’t stand for long periods of time by repeatedly yelling “She’s so...
Apr 25th
Apr 24th
1 note
Apr 24th
5 tags
why in cum compilations does one use a corny transition, I was having a might jerk at first now I’m fixated on your shitty editing
Apr 24th
1 note
8 tags
Apr 23rd
80 notes
Apr 23rd
Apr 23rd
1 note
6 tags
After I’ve jerked off to a girls facebook picture, I like it. It’s kind of like seeing the batman symbol after a foiled crime.
Apr 23rd
2 notes
Apr 23rd
829 notes
5 tags
My girlfriend and I were in CVS in the condom isle. Looking at the prices I blurted out “fuck that, just have a baby” and got the dirtiest look from a guy walking by.
Apr 23rd
7 notes
3 tags
You ever have one of those days you keep repeating to yourself “I fucked up everything”
Apr 22nd
2 notes
5 tags
That romantic moment when you make your girlfriend waft your sweaty balls
Apr 22nd
4 notes
6 tags
Done with work for the day, gonna play video games naked as Samantha does her nails. Ahhh love….
Apr 21st
1 note
7 tags
I have a raging boner right now and am surrounded by half a million dollars worth of state of the art audio and video equipment. I could do work, or have the most massively satisfying jerk sesh of my young adult life…
Apr 21st
7 notes
6 tags
Keying actors with long hair, is like trying to clean all the fur around the house with a Yellow Lab
Apr 21st
1 note
3 tags
This is so bizarre, I’m doing effects for a feature film and on the sound stage is sixty 16 year olds for the CEO’s daughters Sweet 16 I don’t know what’s going on but it’s loud and they’re getting restless
Apr 20th
6 tags
Apr 20th
4 tags
Apr 20th
8 notes
4 tags
I’m not going to finish this on time, I’m not good enough, I’m going to lose the confidence of those around me, and be a worthless loser the rest of my life. If this was any other time period, I would have been shot and left for dead years ago
Apr 19th
4 tags
CEO of the production company I’m working with came over looked me in the eye and said “I hope you make the deadline” smiled and walked away, I’ve never been so close to throwing up every vital organ in my body
Apr 19th
1 note
4 tags
“I’m too tired to go on a feminist rant right now”
– Sam, after learning of the West Virginia abstinence-only policy 
Apr 19th
1 note
3 tags
Apr 19th
4 tags
Apr 19th
2 notes